Friday....the end of a very long week! Phil is back at work, and my kids are next door at Grandmas while I try to rest and recuperate. Right around noon my phone rang, it was Dr.Riddle's nurse practitioner, she asked me if I had a few minutes to chat. The nurse start out talking about my calcium levels, and how they looked good. So that's a relief to me. Then she goes on to say, "Now I would like to go over your pathology results." Here I'm thinking no big deal while she's mumbling her medical talk, "the results have came back positive for cancer, and we took out 7 of your lymph nodes and 3 of them have cancer in them, and your thyroid was full of it." What am I hearing things right???? Did she just say cancer? Holding back tears I listened to what all she had to say. She said I'll see you next week and we'll go over what we need to do. I hang up just in time to have my sister in law Erin walk in the room and I felt bad cause I just burst into tears as I called my husband at work. I think he was just as shocked as I was. It was horrible.
So here it goes: I have Palpatory Cancer in my thyroid (that is now out). That would explain the lump in my throat, and the multiple cyst we found growing down the opposite side. Since they did take out all of my thyroid I don't have to go back in and have them take anymore. Thank goodness I had the procedure done!
Over the next couple of weeks they will let whatever thyroid that is running in my body run out of my system. I will start loosing my energy and I will have to be on a low iodine diet! No iodized salt, no dairy products, no food with Red Dye 40, and so forth. When my TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone reaches a certain level they will put me on a Radioactive pill for 24-48 hours, and I will have to be completely secluded from everyone. Then I will receive a Full Body scan that will inch down my body to see where the cancer is, and how big of a dose of radiation to give me.
So here we are, we are taking this ONE day at a time. So yes today has been a rough day, I know that the Lord is watching over me and my family. I just hope we can make it through all this!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
4/28/2010
So I'm going to try to keep this updated like I would a journal. I am pretty much confined to my own home, I'm not supposed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk so that will be my major challenge with Ezra, and I won't be able to drive anywhere so that will be hard as well! (weds)
Son Monday Night (the 26Th) they told me to call the hospital at 11:30 a.m. and to be ready to go. Emma and Corbin were so excited because my sister in law Erin and finally made it up from Vegas and they just adore her little girl. So what a surprise it was for them to come home from running errands and find them playing in our back yard. Tuesday morning I called at 11:30 and they told me that I didn't need to be there until 2:30, so we just finished cleaning up the house and said goodbye to our children. (There is always that what if in the back of your mind when you go to have major surgery done...I hate that!) So we got there and checked in and they had me my own little waiting room for about a hour. I changed into a gown and put all my personal items into a bag. I started having a panic attack when they were wheeling me down the hall and they made us go our separate ways. My husband Phil is a absolutely amazing person, he gave me the most beautiful blessing the night before. I do not know how I got so luck to be with such a wonderful man who honors his priesthood so much. I am so blessed to be married to him, and he makes me want to be better everyday. They wheeled me into a holding room to wait for the anesthesiologist, and I ended up waiting for a hour. The holding room was a big huge white room that could probably fit 10 beds, there was curtains in between each one, and a computer desk in the corner. I was greeted by another patient an older man who asked me what I was in for, it was kind of funny. A few minutes later I hear someone walking down the hall singing a country tune. In walks Dr.Riddle with his scrubs on and cowboy boots. He is a pretty cool doctor! He tells me what to expect in the next little bit, and how I'm going to be put to sleep here soon, and I'll wake up in recovery and that the surgery should take about 45 minutes. He wishes me well and promises that he'll do a good job.
After they took him off to have his surgery I was left alone to ponder my thoughts. The most amazing thing happened in that holding room, something you wouldn't believe if you didn't have the faith to. I know my mother was there with me, it was the most amazing feeling. I can't even write too much about it because it was such a sacred moment that I had. But I've been waiting 20 years for that, and I guess Heavenly Father thought it was time.
The anesthesiologist came in at 4:30 and gave me something in my IV that made me start to shut down, they wheeled me into the OR and placed me onto the operating table. The room also was very clean, and white. There were for gentlemen in there with me 3 scrub techs, and Dr.Riddle. By then I'm really starting to drift into a heavy sleep and before I know it I'm on the verge of throwing up and it is 6:20 p.m. and I hear all these strange voices around me. I try to speak and nothing comes out, they ended up giving me 4 different medications to help with the naucsiousness. That's the last thing they want me to do is throw up right after having my neck cut into. They then wheeled me out into the hallway where I saw my dear sweetheart waiting for me. (You know I could probably describe that feeling as no other, and that feeling is probably that of like a loved one who had passed on before and is waiting for you when you go to meet your maker. I don't know if that is true, but I could only imagine that I got a little piece of Heaven when I saw Phil standing there.)
They took me up to the 6Th floor and put me into my own room. I was so out of it, my family came up to see how I was doing and I remember them being there, but I don't really remember even seeing their faces. I remember hearing my husband drill my sister about her boyfriend, but that's about it. My family left around 8 and Phil ended up staying until 10 then he went home to be with our children. The room was so teeny! I slept unbelievably good in the hospital, I can't believe how worn out I was. They woke me up every 2 hours to be poked with a needle but I was so out of it that I probably slept through a few of them. This morning I woke up to such a peaceful calm feeling. My blood pressure was pretty low at 74/43 and it was a little scary. I had to drink a lot of fluids today, plus they had a bunch being pushed in through a IV. My calcium levels are really low too so they are having me eat Tums like they are candy.
I had the nurse help me get into the shower my neck was all bandaged up and she pretty much saran wrapped my neck so it wouldn't get all wet. The shower felt so nice to get off the caked off blood and the surgical cleaning scrub that stains your skin yellow.
I was able to check out around 3 when my blood pressure went up to 95/60. Still not to great, so I'm pumping myself full of liquids. My aunt Laura is going to drive up from Delta to take me to my appointment in the morning where they will take a look at my incision. I am so nervous for that, but luckily it was only 2 to 3 inches long. I was picturing a cut across my who entire neck.
I am really swollen and I started to get a little nervous that I was going to suffocate to death, and I'm not kidding either. (this is Tuesday night the 27Th) I had Phil call around to have someone come over here and give me a blessing, and we were finally able to get a hold of my best friend's husband Tony, and he came over and gave me a beautiful blessing to help and I feel that pressure come of my neck immediately.
Weds the 28th
So tomorrow I will hopefully get my test back to know weather or not I have Cancer. My doctor said that my thyroid looked like it was in excellent shape so I shouldn't worry too much. I am thankful that this will be all over and done with soon. My voice is coming back, but it hurts really bad to talk. I want to heal as fast as possible so I can take care of my children and husband again. Everyone has been so helpful with me and my kids. I really appreciate it everyone for all they have done.
Son Monday Night (the 26Th) they told me to call the hospital at 11:30 a.m. and to be ready to go. Emma and Corbin were so excited because my sister in law Erin and finally made it up from Vegas and they just adore her little girl. So what a surprise it was for them to come home from running errands and find them playing in our back yard. Tuesday morning I called at 11:30 and they told me that I didn't need to be there until 2:30, so we just finished cleaning up the house and said goodbye to our children. (There is always that what if in the back of your mind when you go to have major surgery done...I hate that!) So we got there and checked in and they had me my own little waiting room for about a hour. I changed into a gown and put all my personal items into a bag. I started having a panic attack when they were wheeling me down the hall and they made us go our separate ways. My husband Phil is a absolutely amazing person, he gave me the most beautiful blessing the night before. I do not know how I got so luck to be with such a wonderful man who honors his priesthood so much. I am so blessed to be married to him, and he makes me want to be better everyday. They wheeled me into a holding room to wait for the anesthesiologist, and I ended up waiting for a hour. The holding room was a big huge white room that could probably fit 10 beds, there was curtains in between each one, and a computer desk in the corner. I was greeted by another patient an older man who asked me what I was in for, it was kind of funny. A few minutes later I hear someone walking down the hall singing a country tune. In walks Dr.Riddle with his scrubs on and cowboy boots. He is a pretty cool doctor! He tells me what to expect in the next little bit, and how I'm going to be put to sleep here soon, and I'll wake up in recovery and that the surgery should take about 45 minutes. He wishes me well and promises that he'll do a good job.
After they took him off to have his surgery I was left alone to ponder my thoughts. The most amazing thing happened in that holding room, something you wouldn't believe if you didn't have the faith to. I know my mother was there with me, it was the most amazing feeling. I can't even write too much about it because it was such a sacred moment that I had. But I've been waiting 20 years for that, and I guess Heavenly Father thought it was time.
The anesthesiologist came in at 4:30 and gave me something in my IV that made me start to shut down, they wheeled me into the OR and placed me onto the operating table. The room also was very clean, and white. There were for gentlemen in there with me 3 scrub techs, and Dr.Riddle. By then I'm really starting to drift into a heavy sleep and before I know it I'm on the verge of throwing up and it is 6:20 p.m. and I hear all these strange voices around me. I try to speak and nothing comes out, they ended up giving me 4 different medications to help with the naucsiousness. That's the last thing they want me to do is throw up right after having my neck cut into. They then wheeled me out into the hallway where I saw my dear sweetheart waiting for me. (You know I could probably describe that feeling as no other, and that feeling is probably that of like a loved one who had passed on before and is waiting for you when you go to meet your maker. I don't know if that is true, but I could only imagine that I got a little piece of Heaven when I saw Phil standing there.)
They took me up to the 6Th floor and put me into my own room. I was so out of it, my family came up to see how I was doing and I remember them being there, but I don't really remember even seeing their faces. I remember hearing my husband drill my sister about her boyfriend, but that's about it. My family left around 8 and Phil ended up staying until 10 then he went home to be with our children. The room was so teeny! I slept unbelievably good in the hospital, I can't believe how worn out I was. They woke me up every 2 hours to be poked with a needle but I was so out of it that I probably slept through a few of them. This morning I woke up to such a peaceful calm feeling. My blood pressure was pretty low at 74/43 and it was a little scary. I had to drink a lot of fluids today, plus they had a bunch being pushed in through a IV. My calcium levels are really low too so they are having me eat Tums like they are candy.
I had the nurse help me get into the shower my neck was all bandaged up and she pretty much saran wrapped my neck so it wouldn't get all wet. The shower felt so nice to get off the caked off blood and the surgical cleaning scrub that stains your skin yellow.
I was able to check out around 3 when my blood pressure went up to 95/60. Still not to great, so I'm pumping myself full of liquids. My aunt Laura is going to drive up from Delta to take me to my appointment in the morning where they will take a look at my incision. I am so nervous for that, but luckily it was only 2 to 3 inches long. I was picturing a cut across my who entire neck.
I am really swollen and I started to get a little nervous that I was going to suffocate to death, and I'm not kidding either. (this is Tuesday night the 27Th) I had Phil call around to have someone come over here and give me a blessing, and we were finally able to get a hold of my best friend's husband Tony, and he came over and gave me a beautiful blessing to help and I feel that pressure come of my neck immediately.
Weds the 28th
So tomorrow I will hopefully get my test back to know weather or not I have Cancer. My doctor said that my thyroid looked like it was in excellent shape so I shouldn't worry too much. I am thankful that this will be all over and done with soon. My voice is coming back, but it hurts really bad to talk. I want to heal as fast as possible so I can take care of my children and husband again. Everyone has been so helpful with me and my kids. I really appreciate it everyone for all they have done.
Friday, May 20, 2011
4/14/2010
On March 17, 2010 I had my annual doctor's appointment, and I told her a few of the symptoms that I had been experiencing as of late. She was doing her routine exam and gasped when she felt the large lump in my throat that I was telling her about. She decided it would be in my best interest to get an ultrasound and have some blood work done. so the very next day I headed back up to Utah Valley Hospital and had several viles of blood drawn. Then on Monday my husband came with me to have a ultrasound done on my throat. The ultrasound showed that I had numerous cyst's growing on the right side of my throat, and that the one on my left was a cyst that was too big for comfort. So then I was referred over to a Otolarynologist (Ear Nose and Throat) Specialist to have my throat looked at. They got me right in and I didn't want my husband to miss any work so I went by myself. They did another ultrasound on my throat and the doctor was stunned by how large the cyst on the left side was. He told me that I had two choices, to either have it biopsied or have my thyroid partially or completely removed. I thought it was a little ridiculous to have my thyroid removed so I told him I would take the biopsy. Thinking I would have to schedule yet another appointment, but nope instead Dr.Riddle pulled out a extremely large needle. My eyes must of gotten really big, and he just reassured me that it would be over before I knew it. He drew the needle into the cyst 3 times and pulled out 10 cc's of fluid and then they sent it off to the lab to check for cancer cells. I waited four days to get a phone call saying the test came back inconclusive and they did not have enough evidence to call in cancer. And to top it off the lump in my neck had already filled back up with fluid! So we (me and my husband) decided to have a fast. We spent the weekend in a lot of prayer trying to decide what would be the best decision for us. On Monday we went back into the office not sure what to expect. Dr.Riddle wasn't too pleased about the lab results that they had gotten back, and that the lump had already returned (he thought it would take at LEAST 4-6 weeks to fill back up). So now we still have the two choices to be biopsied every other week till it goes away, or have my thyroid removed. We sat down and both knew that the right choice for me was to have my thyroid removed COMPLETELY not partially. I will have a 3-4 inch scar across my neck and have to take a pill everyday for the rest of my life. During the surgery they will take part of the thyroid down to the lab to see if it has cancer in it. They scheduled my appointment for two weeks, and they it could be up to 6 weeks until I will get back on my feet. I've had super really weird dreams the past few nights and I just hope that we can get through this as a family. I pray that my children will never have to go through what I did growing up. I know that the Lord knows what is best for me and I am so grateful for his guidance. Phil gave me a beautiful priesthood bless when we found out all about this and I now know that I just need to trust in the Lord. I have such great friends and family who have been so willing to help me out with my children and meals. I feel so blessed right now for that!
A new hope....
I'm starting this blog for myself....to reflect back on the experiences that I have had with Cancer, and to hopefully help me deal with it (if I have to) in the future. I have found a great tool to help me get through this and that is threw my mother's journals. So anyone is welcome to join me and my family on this little test that we have to go threw in this life! But like I said before this is for me, for me to vent, for me to write down my thoughts. I'm not very good at hand writing a journal, it is so much easier to tap away at the keyboard for that. I'm hopeful this will help me in the years to come, as well as anyone else who may have to go through what I have had to.
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