Wednesday, August 24, 2011
8/24/2011
So I started this blog awhile ago to record my thyroid/cancer posts so I can have record of it. I'm sure most are sick of hearing about test results and so forth so now on I'll be posting over here. It's more of a record for me and my family. I was excited about my last post, only to get a call a couple days later saying they drew the WRONG TEST, so I was so frustrated. Plus it didn't help that my husband was gone all week and it was really hard. I did have lots of help from my ward and that helped a lot so I could still rest and start recovering. On Tuesday I met with my cancer doctor and she upped my medication .25 so hopefully that will help. And she had 5 test ran on me. I'm still really low on my thyroid levels TSH so that's why: I've been depressed, my hair is falling out (some women literally go bald from this), my hair is unbelievably dry, my skin is dry and itchy, and fatigue. I figured the fatigue is from my surgery but its a combination of both. Then Thursday when I went to pick up Phil from his trip I had another blood test ran from my other doctor. Monday morning I got two phone calls: #1 from Dr.Maturlos office saying all my test came back good, and levels are starting to improve. My cancer/cell blood test they drew came back negative. So I asked what that means and she said its a really good chance that they got everything they needed. #2 from Dr.Riddle my Thyroidglobin test came back a little low, but only by a small margin. So they will test me again when I go back in September. So those are two very wonderful things, but I'm having a hard time getting excited about it. I just feel like whenever I do something goes wrong, or they call me and say oh but this test didn't look good. There was a time a couple of weeks ago when I thought I was going to not survive this, that my kids would grow up with out me. Dr.Riddle, and Clarene have done a good job assuring me that this isn't going to happen, and that is why they are running every test that they can, and are seeing me in there office so much. So I am very grateful for that and I hope that I can continue to go the way that I have been going these past two years!
FUV 8/10/2011
I'm hoping this will be one of the last post that I ever have to post about cancer ever again! Today I followed up with my surgeon Dr.Riddle. I got a phone call a couple days ago that I talked about in previous post and it made me really edgy about what lies ahead for me and my family. When they did my surgery they were suppossed to do a bi-lateral incision across my neck but they only ended up going in on the right side and I was confused as to why they didn't do the whole thing. Today I found out that those 9 lymph nodes they took out lined a artery down to my chest, and they were able to pull them out and clean out that artery. That took them about 2 hours and they both made a judgement call to stop. He said him and the other surgeon felt pretty good about what they had done and didn't see the need to tear into my left side. When I had a pet scan the highlighted area was in the right and the highlighted area was the cancer. So today they checked my thyroid levels and they are hoping for a 0 and that would be really good news. That would show that their judgement call was good and that they most likely removed the cancer that was there. He said Papillary Carcinoma is usually the most curable cancer and doesn't know why they are having difficulties curing mine. Maybe because I was blessed with very cancerous genes from my mother I don't know. So next week I meet with my endo doc and she will be the one who gives the call as if I will do another round of radiation or go back for another surgery on my left side. Today really gave me peace of mind I've been looking for. I've been so stressed I've been pulling out gobs of my hair, ridiculous amounts of hair every time I brush it. I hope that I can chill out and be a little more patient. As of right now I hope to heal quickly it took everything in me to drive to and from Provo. Believe it or not but driving hurts because I have to turn my head every so often. Tomorrow I can take the steri-strips off and examine the stitches they have been itching like crazy. My kids came home yesterday and have wore me out. I don't know how the heck my mom did this! No idea she was a Saint and that is for sure. I am blessed with wonderful people around me, I could not of done this without the help, absolutely could not have.
Surgery 8/6/2011
>All week long I've been praying for Thursday to come and go, and believe me it did just do that! I honestly am still in a daze as to what happened on Thursday. My arms are all bruised up on both sides because it took the nurse 3 times to get an IV in, not to mention the blood work done earlier in the week, and the calcium draw that I had yesterday. It looks like someone beat the crap out of my arms.
So Thursday morning we were @ the hospital at 9 but of course didn't get taken back till around 10. Filled out lots of paper work and took a pregnancy test. Then they put me in this huge purple gown with all these holes in it. Then they hook the gown up to a heater/cooler and it blows air in it to keep you warm, or cold. So that was nice! Around 10:45 I departed from my husband and was wheeled into the holding room. I tried so hard not to think about what was going to happen to me. I had a blessing the night before from Phil's dad and it offered me much comfort into the procedure, but I have a feeling that I have a long road of recovery ahead of me.
My surgery took about 2 1/2 hours. They took out 9 lymph nodes and 2 of those had cancer in them. I'm really scared as to what is going to happen now. The nurse called me yesterday and gave me that news and said we would discuss more of it at my follow up appointment on Wednesday. She called it papillary carcinoma I've been reading up on this stuff and it doesn't look too good. I can't jump to conclusions right now.
I was so out of it on Thursday! It took me awhile to wake up she kept having me smell something then I would zonk right out again. They finally wheeled me into a post-op room and Phil was there waiting for me. I had major cotton mouth and slurped down 40 oz. of water. They told me I could stay the night or go home. I decided to go home because I knew I'd sleep way better then having the nurses come poke me every 2 hours and take my vitals, plus it would be cheaper for us too.
So we finally left the hospital around 5 phil stopped and filled all my prescriptions, then I went home and slept on the couch till 7. We decided to go over to see Von and Janiel open their mission call. They are going to the Texas Fort Worth Mission and leave the middle of September! Crazy!!!!
Phil brought me back home my parents stopped by to visit for a bit but then I went back to bed, then yesterday I slept the majority of the day getting up here and there to keep the blood circulating in my legs. I pretty much did the same thing today, I was able to clean myself up and take a bath so that felt pretty good.
I feel like these past few days have been a blur. Just really achy, tired, nauseated, my vision has been blurry, and my mind isn't working like it usually does on this medication that I'm on.
I feel so blessed by everyone! The notes of encouragment, text I have recieved, and so forth. It really does hurt to talk a lot and for some reason I can't get very many people to understand that. I hope that I will know what we are going to do come this Wednesday.
So Thursday morning we were @ the hospital at 9 but of course didn't get taken back till around 10. Filled out lots of paper work and took a pregnancy test. Then they put me in this huge purple gown with all these holes in it. Then they hook the gown up to a heater/cooler and it blows air in it to keep you warm, or cold. So that was nice! Around 10:45 I departed from my husband and was wheeled into the holding room. I tried so hard not to think about what was going to happen to me. I had a blessing the night before from Phil's dad and it offered me much comfort into the procedure, but I have a feeling that I have a long road of recovery ahead of me.
My surgery took about 2 1/2 hours. They took out 9 lymph nodes and 2 of those had cancer in them. I'm really scared as to what is going to happen now. The nurse called me yesterday and gave me that news and said we would discuss more of it at my follow up appointment on Wednesday. She called it papillary carcinoma I've been reading up on this stuff and it doesn't look too good. I can't jump to conclusions right now.
I was so out of it on Thursday! It took me awhile to wake up she kept having me smell something then I would zonk right out again. They finally wheeled me into a post-op room and Phil was there waiting for me. I had major cotton mouth and slurped down 40 oz. of water. They told me I could stay the night or go home. I decided to go home because I knew I'd sleep way better then having the nurses come poke me every 2 hours and take my vitals, plus it would be cheaper for us too.
So we finally left the hospital around 5 phil stopped and filled all my prescriptions, then I went home and slept on the couch till 7. We decided to go over to see Von and Janiel open their mission call. They are going to the Texas Fort Worth Mission and leave the middle of September! Crazy!!!!
Phil brought me back home my parents stopped by to visit for a bit but then I went back to bed, then yesterday I slept the majority of the day getting up here and there to keep the blood circulating in my legs. I pretty much did the same thing today, I was able to clean myself up and take a bath so that felt pretty good.
I feel like these past few days have been a blur. Just really achy, tired, nauseated, my vision has been blurry, and my mind isn't working like it usually does on this medication that I'm on.
I feel so blessed by everyone! The notes of encouragment, text I have recieved, and so forth. It really does hurt to talk a lot and for some reason I can't get very many people to understand that. I hope that I will know what we are going to do come this Wednesday.
Life as we know it....
Well I got my pre-op visit set up to the 1st of August, and the surgery set up for Thursday August 4Th. I'm really not looking forward to either of these :(....but I guess it gives me some time to get things pulled together. I'm thinking I'd better have my kids school clothes shopping done, and get subs lined up for the work I'll be missing.
We had a fun time in Delta over the fourth. It was so good to get away! I'll have to post some pictures of the fun the kids had. Phil finished his horrible art history class so I am happy to have my husband back, until school starts up full force again!
The kids have become pretty good at entertaining themselves. I feel bad I started the summer doing all sorts of fun stuff with them and that has dwindled away.
I am grateful to be back on my medication and off that low iodine diet. Except for the fact that my body is all sorts of messed up with the medication I've managed to put on 10-15 more pounds. It is so frustrating dealing with thyroid and how it messes up your whole sleep/eat/schedule. Not to mention the tumor is probably keeping half that medication to itself. It's like it feeds itself on it, so it will be a relief to get that out. I've been trying to get everything pulled together before I have surgery, anything to keep my mind off it. It's just hard to feel happy right now.
We had a fun time in Delta over the fourth. It was so good to get away! I'll have to post some pictures of the fun the kids had. Phil finished his horrible art history class so I am happy to have my husband back, until school starts up full force again!
The kids have become pretty good at entertaining themselves. I feel bad I started the summer doing all sorts of fun stuff with them and that has dwindled away.
I am grateful to be back on my medication and off that low iodine diet. Except for the fact that my body is all sorts of messed up with the medication I've managed to put on 10-15 more pounds. It is so frustrating dealing with thyroid and how it messes up your whole sleep/eat/schedule. Not to mention the tumor is probably keeping half that medication to itself. It's like it feeds itself on it, so it will be a relief to get that out. I've been trying to get everything pulled together before I have surgery, anything to keep my mind off it. It's just hard to feel happy right now.
7/8/2011
So yesterday morning I had a MRI @ 6:30 a.m. for a dark spot on my liver. Wednesday night I was so blessed to have two great ladies from my ward stop by with a huge dinner and treats it was so sweet of them. Then my father in law came and we chatted for awhile about what was going on and then him and Phil proceeded to give me a blessing.
We got to the outpatient clinic at 6:15 (Phil came with me) and they got me right in. The lady who gave me my MRI was hilarious. I guess the machine told her I was dead and she yelled into the tube and asked if I felt any different, LOL. Guess you had to be there. We had a good old time and she told me I was one of her best patients ever. So that totally made my day!
Phil and I then met our friends Tony and Kelsey over at the temple and we were able to get on the 9 o'clock session. It was such a great experience. I was so touched by the overwhelming emotions and desires that I felt yesterday.
When we got home my mother in law was running errands with my kids so I was able to pick up my house, which sounds really stupid but I just am happy that my house is pulled together. Around 2 p.m. they called me with my MRI results from my liver and said the dark spots were hemagiomas (vessels of blood) totally normal, and to not worry about that.
So yesterday turned out to be quite the good day.
We got to the outpatient clinic at 6:15 (Phil came with me) and they got me right in. The lady who gave me my MRI was hilarious. I guess the machine told her I was dead and she yelled into the tube and asked if I felt any different, LOL. Guess you had to be there. We had a good old time and she told me I was one of her best patients ever. So that totally made my day!
Phil and I then met our friends Tony and Kelsey over at the temple and we were able to get on the 9 o'clock session. It was such a great experience. I was so touched by the overwhelming emotions and desires that I felt yesterday.
When we got home my mother in law was running errands with my kids so I was able to pick up my house, which sounds really stupid but I just am happy that my house is pulled together. Around 2 p.m. they called me with my MRI results from my liver and said the dark spots were hemagiomas (vessels of blood) totally normal, and to not worry about that.
So yesterday turned out to be quite the good day.
Here is the deal: 7/1/11
This blog is like a journal for me and my family, so that is why I started this second blog to pull away from our family blog. Second I hate repeating myself over and over again, so it is easier to post about what is going on rather than tell everyone the same story time and time again.
So today I had an appointment with Dr.Riddle he is the ENT doctor that originally took out my thyroid. My step mom came with me because Phil was pouring cement today and wasn't able to make it. And it is always nice to have some moral support when you already know your getting bad news.
We got there around 9 and saw the nurse practitioner and we had to wait for the doctor to come over in between surgeries at the hospital. It was really nice of him to do that because he wasn't even supposed to be in the office today but he really wanted to talk to me today.
Around 11 he snuck in and we chatted about what is going on. So when I had my pet scan done the radiation really left some hot spots/ highlights in my neck. There are some tumorous lymph nodes that have cancer in them in my neck that are resisting radiation. So we are unsure if they got left there from last year, or if they are just appearing now. He said the cancer is pretty aggressive and that we are going to have to take some bigger steps.
So he told me I have 3 options:
#1 Have a large dose of radiation and go from there. But where I've had so much radiation already and it's showing resistance to that it might not be a good option for me, especially with my age.
#2 Go in my scar and pull out that tumorous lymph node where the hot spots are in my neck area. Same day surgery kind of thing pretty minimal but I may have to return again and have more taken out at another time.
#3 Go in make a incision across my entire neck and completely remove all lymph nodes in my neck and dissect all of them, and see what really is going on. Stay in the hospital overnight, possibly 2 nights, longer recovery, bigger scar, bigger chance of having problems with my voice box for the rest of my life.
I asked him honestly what would he do if he was me, and he said to do the 3rd option. Even though it has the most side effects, I think he is right then I don't have to go back in and have surgery a third time. So I'm pretty sure that is what we are going to do. I know its a lot of information, and I've been pretty emotionally drained that I am trying to have the best attitude about this as possible.
Thanks for every one's support, I really appreciate all of it! I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. It really makes you appreciate life more and realize how important the little things really are!
So today I had an appointment with Dr.Riddle he is the ENT doctor that originally took out my thyroid. My step mom came with me because Phil was pouring cement today and wasn't able to make it. And it is always nice to have some moral support when you already know your getting bad news.
We got there around 9 and saw the nurse practitioner and we had to wait for the doctor to come over in between surgeries at the hospital. It was really nice of him to do that because he wasn't even supposed to be in the office today but he really wanted to talk to me today.
Around 11 he snuck in and we chatted about what is going on. So when I had my pet scan done the radiation really left some hot spots/ highlights in my neck. There are some tumorous lymph nodes that have cancer in them in my neck that are resisting radiation. So we are unsure if they got left there from last year, or if they are just appearing now. He said the cancer is pretty aggressive and that we are going to have to take some bigger steps.
So he told me I have 3 options:
#1 Have a large dose of radiation and go from there. But where I've had so much radiation already and it's showing resistance to that it might not be a good option for me, especially with my age.
#2 Go in my scar and pull out that tumorous lymph node where the hot spots are in my neck area. Same day surgery kind of thing pretty minimal but I may have to return again and have more taken out at another time.
#3 Go in make a incision across my entire neck and completely remove all lymph nodes in my neck and dissect all of them, and see what really is going on. Stay in the hospital overnight, possibly 2 nights, longer recovery, bigger scar, bigger chance of having problems with my voice box for the rest of my life.
I asked him honestly what would he do if he was me, and he said to do the 3rd option. Even though it has the most side effects, I think he is right then I don't have to go back in and have surgery a third time. So I'm pretty sure that is what we are going to do. I know its a lot of information, and I've been pretty emotionally drained that I am trying to have the best attitude about this as possible.
Thanks for every one's support, I really appreciate all of it! I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. It really makes you appreciate life more and realize how important the little things really are!
6/29/2011
So today Dr.Maturlo called me and I have to go get a MRI tomorrow morning at 630 in the morning there is a spot on my liver that they are concerned about. Then I have to go back to Dr.Riddles office on Friday morning to set up surgery on my neck again to remove some more lymph nodes that have cancer in them. So its pretty disheartening Friday they will have the results back from my MRI so I'm glad they got me in so fast and I get to go back on my medication and take 2 pills a day for a few days so I can get my strength back quicker. I'm posting from my phone so that is why this looks so funny. Prayers right now are much appreciated I'm grateful for every ones sweet comments and kindness to my family while we go threw this. I hope to live a long life and I hope that all this is containable and hasn't gotten to where there is no turning back.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
6/24/2011
Pet Scan
It has really been a long day today....I've been pretty nervy the past two weeks awaiting what was next for me. I had a kidney test done last week, then I finally got my Pet Scan set up for this morning. And if I wouldn't have called and chewed the MA out it probably would of never gotten set up because they are the biggest idiots over there and do a lot of assuming!
I got up @7 a.m. this morning and couldn't eat but had to drink 24 ounces of water then I headed up to Utah Valley Hospital. They got me all checked in and took my blood, which BTW as permanent needle holes because I have horrible veins and I've finally found one that works like a charm. They took me back and I put all my stuff away into a locker and changed into some scrub pants, and a gown. They took me into a small room and went over the procedure with me. We went over my medical history and they he (Kevin) put a needle and threaded a tube into my arm and ran saline in through it, then he went into the other room and came back with the magic silver vile that they always hold the radiation in, and he injected it into my veins.
Kevin then took me into a dark room with a recliner and no T.V. or magazines to read and told me that I needed to sit in there for 40-60 minutes and relax while I drank 24 ounces of glucose drink mixed with my choice of Diet Soda, or Crystal light. (They like you to have as little amount of brain activity as possible)
He got me a warm blanket and told me to try to drink it as fast as I possibly could. I opted for the Crystal light, it was horrible! You think that pregnancy drink is bad???? This was way worst and 3x the amount, and the after taste....sicknast!
So I sat there trying not to get worked up about things. When I was in the other room going over the procedure he told me that they were mainly looking for suspicious tumors in my body. Which immediately lead my thoughts to my dear sweet Grandma Gamble who had a tumor in her face and passed away almost 2 years ago after fighting it for quite some time. She was an amazing lady and I could honestly just feel her sitting by my side in that room. I can honestly tell you things are coming true that are said in my patriartricle blessing. It is really interesting to see it unravel before my eyes. I too thought of the hospital and how peaceful and calm I feel as I do in the temple. It's weird to say but it really helped to calm my nerves today. I felt calm and oh so peaceful as I waited in that room. That's as far as I will go with that!
Kevin came back in and got me after an hour and took me into another room. (I was so glad I wore flip flops...I've got this thing down, when i got my MRI I had to walk down the hallway with no shoes/socks on.) He took me into the room and the machine looked kind of like the MRI machine but not as enclosed (thank goodness, I was already nauseous from the glucose drink)
I laid down on the machine and he strapped me into it so I wouldn't fall out because there are no sides. Once again went over the procedure and told me that I needed to move as little as possible in the next 45 minutes. I felt like I was getting ready to be launched off into a rocket! The machine would tell me to breath in, breath out and to stop breathing while it sucked me up into the tube and took pictures of the inside of my body, then when it sucked me back out it told me to breath again. It was hard to hold my breath like that. It did that 4 times, and then we started the test. It sucked me back in and started at my toes, and worked its way so slowly up my body that you don't even realize you are moving, clear up until they hit the top of your head.
It was an interesting procedure today, and since of course it is Friday I have to wait until next week to get any sort of results back. He told me to plan on next Wednesday or Thursday. I have not really been feeling myself and I'm trying my hardest just to have fun with my kids and live my life as normal as I possibly can. I had a really good time with my friend last night while I was at work, and I haven't laughed that hard in weeks.
Phil is busy with school, and work, and his church callings, but most of all he seems to find time for me and the kids. He is always so good to unload the dishwasher or take the garbage out, and that does wonders for me. Emma has been such a good little helper, she has changed Ezzy's diaper here and there in the morning and gotten him breakfast when I've been too tired to get up. Mornings are the hardest for me....Corbin has been a good little helper as well, always cleaning up when I ask him to. I've just been blessed with such good kiddos.
Going though this has really opened my eyes, and I've had more of a desire to be better....be a better mother, wife, friend, family member. To read my scriptures and study them more in depth, I've been on my knees a whole lot more, and I'm dying to make it to the temple. It is so emotionally draining to have to face your worst fears. I don't want a pity party because I'm seriously so blessed, in ways others could not imagine. Everything happens for a reason, and there are worst things I could be going through right now, and in no way would I ever trade my life or my problems in my life for someone elses. Whatever happens next week is how it should be. It is was it is..........
It has really been a long day today....I've been pretty nervy the past two weeks awaiting what was next for me. I had a kidney test done last week, then I finally got my Pet Scan set up for this morning. And if I wouldn't have called and chewed the MA out it probably would of never gotten set up because they are the biggest idiots over there and do a lot of assuming!
I got up @7 a.m. this morning and couldn't eat but had to drink 24 ounces of water then I headed up to Utah Valley Hospital. They got me all checked in and took my blood, which BTW as permanent needle holes because I have horrible veins and I've finally found one that works like a charm. They took me back and I put all my stuff away into a locker and changed into some scrub pants, and a gown. They took me into a small room and went over the procedure with me. We went over my medical history and they he (Kevin) put a needle and threaded a tube into my arm and ran saline in through it, then he went into the other room and came back with the magic silver vile that they always hold the radiation in, and he injected it into my veins.
Kevin then took me into a dark room with a recliner and no T.V. or magazines to read and told me that I needed to sit in there for 40-60 minutes and relax while I drank 24 ounces of glucose drink mixed with my choice of Diet Soda, or Crystal light. (They like you to have as little amount of brain activity as possible)
He got me a warm blanket and told me to try to drink it as fast as I possibly could. I opted for the Crystal light, it was horrible! You think that pregnancy drink is bad???? This was way worst and 3x the amount, and the after taste....sicknast!
So I sat there trying not to get worked up about things. When I was in the other room going over the procedure he told me that they were mainly looking for suspicious tumors in my body. Which immediately lead my thoughts to my dear sweet Grandma Gamble who had a tumor in her face and passed away almost 2 years ago after fighting it for quite some time. She was an amazing lady and I could honestly just feel her sitting by my side in that room. I can honestly tell you things are coming true that are said in my patriartricle blessing. It is really interesting to see it unravel before my eyes. I too thought of the hospital and how peaceful and calm I feel as I do in the temple. It's weird to say but it really helped to calm my nerves today. I felt calm and oh so peaceful as I waited in that room. That's as far as I will go with that!
Kevin came back in and got me after an hour and took me into another room. (I was so glad I wore flip flops...I've got this thing down, when i got my MRI I had to walk down the hallway with no shoes/socks on.) He took me into the room and the machine looked kind of like the MRI machine but not as enclosed (thank goodness, I was already nauseous from the glucose drink)
I laid down on the machine and he strapped me into it so I wouldn't fall out because there are no sides. Once again went over the procedure and told me that I needed to move as little as possible in the next 45 minutes. I felt like I was getting ready to be launched off into a rocket! The machine would tell me to breath in, breath out and to stop breathing while it sucked me up into the tube and took pictures of the inside of my body, then when it sucked me back out it told me to breath again. It was hard to hold my breath like that. It did that 4 times, and then we started the test. It sucked me back in and started at my toes, and worked its way so slowly up my body that you don't even realize you are moving, clear up until they hit the top of your head.
It was an interesting procedure today, and since of course it is Friday I have to wait until next week to get any sort of results back. He told me to plan on next Wednesday or Thursday. I have not really been feeling myself and I'm trying my hardest just to have fun with my kids and live my life as normal as I possibly can. I had a really good time with my friend last night while I was at work, and I haven't laughed that hard in weeks.
Phil is busy with school, and work, and his church callings, but most of all he seems to find time for me and the kids. He is always so good to unload the dishwasher or take the garbage out, and that does wonders for me. Emma has been such a good little helper, she has changed Ezzy's diaper here and there in the morning and gotten him breakfast when I've been too tired to get up. Mornings are the hardest for me....Corbin has been a good little helper as well, always cleaning up when I ask him to. I've just been blessed with such good kiddos.
Going though this has really opened my eyes, and I've had more of a desire to be better....be a better mother, wife, friend, family member. To read my scriptures and study them more in depth, I've been on my knees a whole lot more, and I'm dying to make it to the temple. It is so emotionally draining to have to face your worst fears. I don't want a pity party because I'm seriously so blessed, in ways others could not imagine. Everything happens for a reason, and there are worst things I could be going through right now, and in no way would I ever trade my life or my problems in my life for someone elses. Whatever happens next week is how it should be. It is was it is..........
6/13/2011
I'm so stinkin frustrated with my body right now! I don't understand why the heck I have to deal with all this crap. May 1st I had to go off my medication and go on a low iodine diet. This was supposed to be a 2 week deal, which has now turned into a 6 week to who knows when kind of deal. The middle of May I had a TSH test done to test my thyroid level and I was at a 17 where they thought I'd be down to a 30. (A normal level is 0.5-4.0) but since I don't have a thyroid and I take thyroid medication to level that out I'm supposed to be at that 30 level. So anyways they had me wait another 2 weeks to have my full body scan. Which was so frustrating, then I find out I have to have radiation on top of that and be away from my family for 48 hours. So that has come and gone and we dealt with it.
So last Monday I wait and I wait (because they said they would call me 1st thing in the morning and DID not, even after I call them and have to leave a message because they never let me just talk to a MA) Finaly at 2:30 the PA calls me and lets me know that my scan came back clear. And that I needed to go do another TSH test. She also told me that I could go back on my meds and go back to eating normal.
So Hooray...right...for 5 freaking minutes! I start taking my meds again, and get me a yummy Cafe Rio Salad and of course get the blood test done. I go back to work and try to make everything as normal as possible, even though I still don't feel super great.
Then today I get a phone call, expect eh unexpected right? That's what I've come to conclude in my life. My test came back unusually high and the doctors don't really know where to go from here.
So of course they can't give me any answers until I go in and have some more test done. So tomorrow I have to go have my kidneys tested and make sure they are function right. Then sometime next week I have to go have a Pet Scan done and go off my medication and back on the Low Iodine diet once again!
So pretty much a Pet Scan is like my full body scan, but I'll be given radiation intravenously and it will show more that a full body scan. I will have to drink glucose and I guess the glucose makes the cancer cells highly metabolic. The information will locate the abnormal levels in my whole body to pinpoint the source of cancer and detect weather or not the cancer is isolated to one specific area or has spread to other areas, they will also be looking for tumors. The test will take anywhere to 2 to 4 hours.
I am so frustrated right now! I feel like I get good news for 5 seconds then I'm trampled over with bad news! It's hard to be positive when I have 3 little kids to take care of, a household to manage, a job, provide support to my husband who is in school full time and working when he can, bills I can barely pay.....why???? Why do I have to deal with this right now? I was 9 years old when my mother passed away from Breast Cancer, 9 years old...my oldest is 6 if something happened to me she wouldn't even remember me. It's not fair that I have so little memories of my mother and I cherish them dearly. But a lot of those memories are of her being sick and laying on the couch, and I never really understood when I was little, and now that I'm older and going through this I do understand. I hate when my kids ask me, "mom are you sick today", "mom when are you going to get better." They just want to play with me and when I have energy I feel like I'm catching up on the laundry, doing dishes, but I have been spending a lot more time with them. I'm just going to have to put my trust in God that he will spare my life and let me grow old with my husband, let me see my babies grow up, let me live my life to the fullest, let me have a full head of grey hair, let me see my grand babies. That's all I ask, I want to be around for a long time and I'm going to fight this.....whatever this is!
So last Monday I wait and I wait (because they said they would call me 1st thing in the morning and DID not, even after I call them and have to leave a message because they never let me just talk to a MA) Finaly at 2:30 the PA calls me and lets me know that my scan came back clear. And that I needed to go do another TSH test. She also told me that I could go back on my meds and go back to eating normal.
So Hooray...right...for 5 freaking minutes! I start taking my meds again, and get me a yummy Cafe Rio Salad and of course get the blood test done. I go back to work and try to make everything as normal as possible, even though I still don't feel super great.
Then today I get a phone call, expect eh unexpected right? That's what I've come to conclude in my life. My test came back unusually high and the doctors don't really know where to go from here.
So of course they can't give me any answers until I go in and have some more test done. So tomorrow I have to go have my kidneys tested and make sure they are function right. Then sometime next week I have to go have a Pet Scan done and go off my medication and back on the Low Iodine diet once again!
So pretty much a Pet Scan is like my full body scan, but I'll be given radiation intravenously and it will show more that a full body scan. I will have to drink glucose and I guess the glucose makes the cancer cells highly metabolic. The information will locate the abnormal levels in my whole body to pinpoint the source of cancer and detect weather or not the cancer is isolated to one specific area or has spread to other areas, they will also be looking for tumors. The test will take anywhere to 2 to 4 hours.
I am so frustrated right now! I feel like I get good news for 5 seconds then I'm trampled over with bad news! It's hard to be positive when I have 3 little kids to take care of, a household to manage, a job, provide support to my husband who is in school full time and working when he can, bills I can barely pay.....why???? Why do I have to deal with this right now? I was 9 years old when my mother passed away from Breast Cancer, 9 years old...my oldest is 6 if something happened to me she wouldn't even remember me. It's not fair that I have so little memories of my mother and I cherish them dearly. But a lot of those memories are of her being sick and laying on the couch, and I never really understood when I was little, and now that I'm older and going through this I do understand. I hate when my kids ask me, "mom are you sick today", "mom when are you going to get better." They just want to play with me and when I have energy I feel like I'm catching up on the laundry, doing dishes, but I have been spending a lot more time with them. I'm just going to have to put my trust in God that he will spare my life and let me grow old with my husband, let me see my babies grow up, let me live my life to the fullest, let me have a full head of grey hair, let me see my grand babies. That's all I ask, I want to be around for a long time and I'm going to fight this.....whatever this is!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
4/7/2011
I'm thankful for my health. Slowly but surely I am starting to feel somewhat like a normal person. The day's where I can't get out of bed have just about disappeared, and I no longer feel like I'm in such a funk. I've started to enjoy my hobbies again, I feel like I can keep up on stuff again, and I'm starting to feel happy again for the first time in almost a year.
1/31/2011
My nerves last night about got the best of me! I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep for the life of me! I tossed and turned worried about what if this? What if that? This morning we headed into the cancer clinic around 830...I filled out a pile of paperwork...changed into some clothes and took everything off that had any sort of metal in it. They started a IV drew some blood, gave me a pep talk and sent me on my way.
I walked down a dark hallway and into this cold room with a very large machine, and honestly thought, "will I really fit in there!" They strapped me in and told me to lay still for 45 minutes. Oh and don't forget some earplugs its really noisy in there. Bet you can't guess what I was doing? If you guessed MRI you are right! The nurse told me to have a nice nap (like that was going to happen) They sucked me into the large tube and off I went...I tried so hard not to move, cause there was no way they were going to start over. My ears are still ringing from all the buzzing, and odd sounds that machine makes.
They brought me out and gave me some more meds in my IV that put a pigment dye through my blood so anything would stand out in the pictures they were taking...weird cold sensation. He said only 5 more minutes but I'm telling up I counted to 60 12 times....that was a really long 5 minutes.
Whew I survived and they say well have a nice day. What no results, you've gotta be kidding me...I have to wait a whole stinkin week....
My husband graciously treated me to a Cafe Rio Salad, it was oh so tasty.
We got home, and he left for work, and I visited with my sister for awhile. We decided to go for a ride when the girls got off the bus. We loaded the kids in the van and I started backing up...my phone rang, anonymous number. I answered and the lady from Dr.Maturlo's office started talking to me about my test. My heart was pounding so fast, and my eyes started to swell up with tears...I didn't understand any of her mumbo jumbo doctor talk....after she got done, I asked her..."so do I still have Cancer or not?" and her reply was, "oh no you don't" it felt like a thousand bricks came falling off my body...I couldn't believe it...I think I was in shock the whole drive down the road...I dialed my husband who was so excited! I still have an appointment next Monday to get my meds adjusted, and each May for the rest of my life I guess I go back and do a full body PT scan and make sure the cancer doesn't come back.
Honestly I am so relieved, I feel so blessed right now. Heavenly Father has defiantly got my back. I have felt so much despair and loneliness the past 2 months. After many many talks with my husband and close friends I now feel oh so much better. I thought if I felt the worst about this I wouldn't be let down. Now I'm ashamed that I had such a bad attitude about it the last little while. i am so very grateful for all the prayers I have felt, for all the fasting, for everything everyone has done for me. I feel so very loved, and I hope to pay it forward someday. I am so very grateful for all of you who have stuck this out with me and my little family. Thank you so much.
Now I am really going to start taking better care of myself, so I can be around for a long long time!
I walked down a dark hallway and into this cold room with a very large machine, and honestly thought, "will I really fit in there!" They strapped me in and told me to lay still for 45 minutes. Oh and don't forget some earplugs its really noisy in there. Bet you can't guess what I was doing? If you guessed MRI you are right! The nurse told me to have a nice nap (like that was going to happen) They sucked me into the large tube and off I went...I tried so hard not to move, cause there was no way they were going to start over. My ears are still ringing from all the buzzing, and odd sounds that machine makes.
They brought me out and gave me some more meds in my IV that put a pigment dye through my blood so anything would stand out in the pictures they were taking...weird cold sensation. He said only 5 more minutes but I'm telling up I counted to 60 12 times....that was a really long 5 minutes.
Whew I survived and they say well have a nice day. What no results, you've gotta be kidding me...I have to wait a whole stinkin week....
My husband graciously treated me to a Cafe Rio Salad, it was oh so tasty.
We got home, and he left for work, and I visited with my sister for awhile. We decided to go for a ride when the girls got off the bus. We loaded the kids in the van and I started backing up...my phone rang, anonymous number. I answered and the lady from Dr.Maturlo's office started talking to me about my test. My heart was pounding so fast, and my eyes started to swell up with tears...I didn't understand any of her mumbo jumbo doctor talk....after she got done, I asked her..."so do I still have Cancer or not?" and her reply was, "oh no you don't" it felt like a thousand bricks came falling off my body...I couldn't believe it...I think I was in shock the whole drive down the road...I dialed my husband who was so excited! I still have an appointment next Monday to get my meds adjusted, and each May for the rest of my life I guess I go back and do a full body PT scan and make sure the cancer doesn't come back.
Honestly I am so relieved, I feel so blessed right now. Heavenly Father has defiantly got my back. I have felt so much despair and loneliness the past 2 months. After many many talks with my husband and close friends I now feel oh so much better. I thought if I felt the worst about this I wouldn't be let down. Now I'm ashamed that I had such a bad attitude about it the last little while. i am so very grateful for all the prayers I have felt, for all the fasting, for everything everyone has done for me. I feel so very loved, and I hope to pay it forward someday. I am so very grateful for all of you who have stuck this out with me and my little family. Thank you so much.
Now I am really going to start taking better care of myself, so I can be around for a long long time!
6/10/2010
So yesterday I had a Follow up Visit with Dr.Riddle (the doctor who removed my thyroid) He said that things looked great on my scan and that it looked like the cancer was only in my neck....Hooray! That is awesome news for me! I still have to wait for my blood test the first week of July to find out more information on my Thyroid levels. One thing the Radiation did do was fry my salivary glands, and that is why I can not even taste Listerine. So he put me on a Medrol 6 day pack, has anyone had any expierence with one of these. He informed me I'd be a witch with a Capital B for the next week. He is so stinkin funny! So I apologize now for any behavior that may occur over the next week!
Thankful Thursday....5/27/2010
There is so much that I'm thankful for but here is what tops my list this week!
#1 That we all got to sleep under one roof on Tuesday. I slept so good knowing my kiddies where in the next room and that my husband was right beside me.
#2 My mother in law: She has helped me out so very much. Taken such good care of my kids, kept my laundry up better than I even do when I feel good,, and cleaned my house till it sparked yesterday.
#3 My sister in law made me this beautiful quilt. it is absolutely gorgeous, and it is so comfy to wrap up in and watch TV at night. I've never had my "own" blanket, I made the kids and Phil's fleece one's but never got around to make myself one. So sorry I'm not sharing....
#4 My aunt Laura and cousin Chris came up on Monday and scrubbed my room, and bathroom down so my family could move back in. Then we went to lunch and it was so much fun to get out of the house and socialize fro a minute!
#5 For all the wonderful people that have taken such good care of my children this week It so nice to know they are safe either at a friends house or one of my sister in laws home, or even playing with a neighbor. It has given me some good time to rest and relax so hopefully I can build up some energy so I can be a mom again!
#6 Again to all the wonderful notes, cards I've received in the mail, thoughts on my blog, phone calls, care packages. I just can't believe the kindness and generosity of people over the past few weeks! It brightens my day to know that there are still good people in this word. and that has been a good lesson to me. it is weird that going through something like this has really made me realize who the important people are in my life. i just appreciate everyone I really do!
5/23/2010 again....
Finally some good news!!!! Today I went to the Nuclear Department and sat 6 feet away from my husband on the way there, yet on the way home I got to ride right next to him and hold his hand! The tech had me hold a tape measure up to my neck and stood back 3 feet and held up this scanner thing. A minute later the tech said, "your good." I looked at him and said, "what does that mean?" he laughed and said I don't have to follow any restrictions anymore. "WHAT are you kidding me?" I am still in shock! I thought I'd be stuck in this room for another 3 days at the minimum! I guess that medication rocked my body and did its job. Not to mention the amount of water I was drinking trying to flush it out as quickly as possible! I am so so so happy right now, I honestly know this would not be possible without all the wonderful people out there who have prayed and fasted for me. Thank you, thank you all so very much! You have no idea how much it means to me, my family is everything to me! My kids/husband are the most important people in my life. I still won't know for a couple of months if it killed all the cancer, but I'm pretty dang confident that it got most if not all of it. It was so much fun going into my in laws house and surprising them and my kiddos! They all came up (very hesitantly, like I was going to break or something) and gave me lots of loves and kisses! Phil still took the kids up north so I could rest! I still have no thyroid left,a nd I can't start my medication until Tuesday. Hopefully it will give my body the jump start it needs so I can get back into mommy and wife mode! So that is that for now, thank you again everyone!!!!
5/23/2010
So here we are, the worst is over...When Phil gets home from church he is going to take me up to the hospital to be checked. Can I just tell you how excited I am to go for a car ride? Phil came in my room yesterday and couldn't believe how stuff it was. I for one didn't even notice, I have had a lot of emotions and feelings for the past few days. Thank you for the warning Laura or I would of thought that I was crazy. One second I'd be dying of heat, the next I'd be shivering under a pile of blankets. I am so excited to be able to eat whatever I want and not have to watch the iodine part, yea for a tall glass of milk. I am so hoping for a good level so I can hug my kids today before they head up to Salt Lake. I so miss my kiddos, they came and talked to me the rough hey window, they have been calling me to tell me what they have been up to. Yesterday my 1 1/2 year old had a rough day and Phil couldn't get him to stop crying. I was able to talk to him on the phone and Phil said he just snuggled up to the phone and wouldn't give it back. I sure do miss my sweet little family, I can't wait to spend some quality time with them!
5/20/2010
A little emotion today....last night I pack my kids for 10 days.
So I cried......
Then this morning I said goodbye to my husband as he left for work....
So I cried....
Oh how I'm not looking forward to this afternoon....I'm sure I'll cry the whole way to the hospital.
Seriously people cherish every moment you have with your spouse and your children.
Oh great I'm crying again....
Pain and Frustration
Written for me by sister....
So I cried......
Then this morning I said goodbye to my husband as he left for work....
So I cried....
Oh how I'm not looking forward to this afternoon....I'm sure I'll cry the whole way to the hospital.
Seriously people cherish every moment you have with your spouse and your children.
Oh great I'm crying again....
Pain and Frustration
Written for me by sister....
Just Hold On
Kipha Suade
Hidden deep inside
Anger and agony
Gotta finish your life.
Just stay strong
please hold on
stand tall
Keep moving on
Came as a shock one day
Couldn't hear what the doctors would say
Love of your life and 3 babies
Just started living your dream
Just stay strong
Please hold on
Stand tall
Keep moving on
Family to keep in your arms
Protecting to keep you from harm
It will pass it will subside
Hold to the strength from up high
Just stay strong
Please hold on
Stand tall
Keep moving on
Keep moving on
5-18-2010
Just thought I'd do a really quick update. I've had a lot of phone calls this morning and I'm sorry that I haven't answered them. I am so exhausted today, mostly due to my little 1 1/2 year old who decided to be up all night the past 2 nights. I do think he probably feels my stress and knows that something is up. So yesterday I had my full body scan. I had to lay their for a hour and not move. The machine slowly went up my entire body and took pictures. You could hardly see it even moving. Today the doctors office called and said that their is a lot of cancer in my neck area so they are going to give me a pretty big dose of Radiation. I think she said 120 mg...but I'm not sure. They said hopefully they can get all of it, if not I'll have to do this all over again in 6 months. But who knows right, since every doctor I see seems to have their own opinion. So I will finally start my treatment Thursday which is only 2 days away but seems like forever, that I am just glad they could get me in.
5/14/2010
Seriously what a waste of an afternoon.....I feel like all I do is drive up to Utah Valley Hospital pay a stinkin $50 copay each time and sit around and wait forever! Plus I'm sick of being told one thing by one doctor who then refers me to another doctor just to tell me something different today. Well last week they told me I would be having my scan today, then start my isolation on Monday. Today I go in, Phil takes of half the day off of work to go with me and all they do is give me a tiny little blue pill and says see ya Monday. Oh by the way I waited in the waiting room for 35 minutes for that stupid little pill. I'm like hey wait a minute, I thought you were doing my scan today that's what my doctor told me. The technician looks at me and says "well your in my world now." We give you a low dose of radiation today, then in three days you come back to get a full body scan to see exactly where the cancer is and how much of a dose of radiation to give you. Then Tuesday the doctor will be in to look at your scan. Then you will have to come up again and have your dose on Wednesday or Thursday. I am happy that I won't miss preschool graduation or my little guys birthday. But it is annoying when you are a planner like myself and have every little detail figured out, especially when you are working with a husband who has work, and three little kids that will have to go to different babysitters each day. It wouldn't be so bothersome either if I got told the same thing everywhere I went but instead I get told one thing here, then one thing there it is enough to drive a person crazy! Even my husband isn't impressed, I do feel blessed to have such wonderful doctors, Dr.Maturlo is my Cancer specialist, and I hear she is one of the best. Sorry to vent but I just had to get that out of my system. It won't be hard to rearrange things, people have been so kind and I have actually been overwhelmed by the amount of people so willing to help me out.
5-10-2010
So here we go, they got my blood test back and game me a call today. They want me to go in and get my scan on Friday, then on Monday they are going to draw my blood and make sure that everything is okay, and they will begin my treatment up at Utah Valley Hospital at 4 o'clock. I can't believe it is all happening so fast. But I guess that is the sooner they get the canncer out of my body. I had a little meltdown this morning because my son's birthday is on Tuesday, as well as my two kids preschool graduation! My dear sweet husband is going to take the day off and take them to graduation and make sure my son has a wonderful birthday. Oh and I'm so excited to stop my diet soon, I am in NO way a dieter, I just love food so much! the worst part is you have to make everything from scratch and you can't have hardly ANY dairy! I just love my milk, cheese and icecream so much! Everything that I cook with or use has stinkin sodium in it and I have no idea if the processed foods use iodized or non-iodized salt. My sweet neighbor has been making me bread so I had still have some yummy food and not get all fruit/vegged out!
Well I hope I can say I'm cancer free in a couple of weeks...I just don't know, I am worried about my lymph nodes but we will burn that bridge when we get there.
Well I hope I can say I'm cancer free in a couple of weeks...I just don't know, I am worried about my lymph nodes but we will burn that bridge when we get there.
5-6-2010
I know my blog is so boring and depressing, but I feel like it is important to keep a journal of what is going on. I am so blessed to have my mothers journal from when she underwent Breast Cancer therapy. It makes what I'm going through seem like nothing. It's important to keep a life history especially since my mother passed away when I was nine years old. I can't just call her up and ask her, hey did you have to do this, or why do you think I have to deal with this? The crazy thing is all my life I've always known I would get cancer. My mother first started having some problems in 1985 she was only 23 or 24 years old. She went into have it checked out and her doctor said, "don't worry your too young to have cancer." So she went on with her life. In November of 1986 she wasn't feeling too great. She had a lot of pain in her chest and arms, then in December of that year she felt a lump in her breast. In February my dad pretty much dragged my mom into a doctors office. It is interesting to read, "during this time I had a reoccurring dream that I would be in the hospital really sick. I was really scared." The next week she says to my dad, "why does it have to be cancer, I'd rather have a heart problem, diabetes, anything but cancer. After all not very many people I had known had survived cancer." That is frighting to read, yet it has helped me get through this, its like my mom is hear sitting next to me as I go through this.
So anyways Phil and I were able to visit with a Endrocronolist today. She answered all of Phil's and my questions. So now we kind of know where to go from here. The only thing that stinks is that I thought I had more time on my hands to prepare myself and my family. But I don't, I have to start a low iodine diet, today they dream my blood to check my calcium levels, and my thyroid levels. So tomorrow I'll officially know when my treatment starts. So what they will do next week or the week after is a scan of my entire body (kind of like a MRI) to see how much of a radioactive dose to give me. Then when my thyroid levels are where they want them to be I will start the radioactive treatment. The other doctor told me that is was 24-48 hours in isolation, but NO it could be up to 10 DAYS! I don't know what I'm going to do, my kids are going to freak, especially my little 1 1/2 year old! Phil is going to turn our bedroom into a little studio apartment, and move a little microwave and the little refrigerator in so I don't have to clean so much after the treatment. Phil will be able to come in for 20 minutes a day but he has to keep a distance of 6 feet.
I have a cousin who underwent thyroid cancer as well so she have been a valuable source of information, and a sweetheart to help me get though this. She said by the time she had here treatment she slept most of the time especially since I won't be able to start my medication again until the 5Th day of treatment.
On the 3rd or 4Th day I will go to the hospital and they will scan me with a little hand held device that will read the radiation level in my body. From there they will know how long I actually have to be in isolation.
So I guess there are different types of Thyroid Cancer, they are a little concerned because a couple of the lymph nodes they biopsied have cancer in them. So hopefully when they do the scan they will find that it hasn't spread to other parts of my body. That's a lot to take in for one day, but I know that the Lord is watching over me and my family. I actually feel really blessed, I know my mother has been around a lot checking up on me. So we will just go from here.
So anyways Phil and I were able to visit with a Endrocronolist today. She answered all of Phil's and my questions. So now we kind of know where to go from here. The only thing that stinks is that I thought I had more time on my hands to prepare myself and my family. But I don't, I have to start a low iodine diet, today they dream my blood to check my calcium levels, and my thyroid levels. So tomorrow I'll officially know when my treatment starts. So what they will do next week or the week after is a scan of my entire body (kind of like a MRI) to see how much of a radioactive dose to give me. Then when my thyroid levels are where they want them to be I will start the radioactive treatment. The other doctor told me that is was 24-48 hours in isolation, but NO it could be up to 10 DAYS! I don't know what I'm going to do, my kids are going to freak, especially my little 1 1/2 year old! Phil is going to turn our bedroom into a little studio apartment, and move a little microwave and the little refrigerator in so I don't have to clean so much after the treatment. Phil will be able to come in for 20 minutes a day but he has to keep a distance of 6 feet.
I have a cousin who underwent thyroid cancer as well so she have been a valuable source of information, and a sweetheart to help me get though this. She said by the time she had here treatment she slept most of the time especially since I won't be able to start my medication again until the 5Th day of treatment.
On the 3rd or 4Th day I will go to the hospital and they will scan me with a little hand held device that will read the radiation level in my body. From there they will know how long I actually have to be in isolation.
So I guess there are different types of Thyroid Cancer, they are a little concerned because a couple of the lymph nodes they biopsied have cancer in them. So hopefully when they do the scan they will find that it hasn't spread to other parts of my body. That's a lot to take in for one day, but I know that the Lord is watching over me and my family. I actually feel really blessed, I know my mother has been around a lot checking up on me. So we will just go from here.
Monday, May 30, 2011
4/30/2010 Friday
Friday....the end of a very long week! Phil is back at work, and my kids are next door at Grandmas while I try to rest and recuperate. Right around noon my phone rang, it was Dr.Riddle's nurse practitioner, she asked me if I had a few minutes to chat. The nurse start out talking about my calcium levels, and how they looked good. So that's a relief to me. Then she goes on to say, "Now I would like to go over your pathology results." Here I'm thinking no big deal while she's mumbling her medical talk, "the results have came back positive for cancer, and we took out 7 of your lymph nodes and 3 of them have cancer in them, and your thyroid was full of it." What am I hearing things right???? Did she just say cancer? Holding back tears I listened to what all she had to say. She said I'll see you next week and we'll go over what we need to do. I hang up just in time to have my sister in law Erin walk in the room and I felt bad cause I just burst into tears as I called my husband at work. I think he was just as shocked as I was. It was horrible.
So here it goes: I have Palpatory Cancer in my thyroid (that is now out). That would explain the lump in my throat, and the multiple cyst we found growing down the opposite side. Since they did take out all of my thyroid I don't have to go back in and have them take anymore. Thank goodness I had the procedure done!
Over the next couple of weeks they will let whatever thyroid that is running in my body run out of my system. I will start loosing my energy and I will have to be on a low iodine diet! No iodized salt, no dairy products, no food with Red Dye 40, and so forth. When my TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone reaches a certain level they will put me on a Radioactive pill for 24-48 hours, and I will have to be completely secluded from everyone. Then I will receive a Full Body scan that will inch down my body to see where the cancer is, and how big of a dose of radiation to give me.
So here we are, we are taking this ONE day at a time. So yes today has been a rough day, I know that the Lord is watching over me and my family. I just hope we can make it through all this!
So here it goes: I have Palpatory Cancer in my thyroid (that is now out). That would explain the lump in my throat, and the multiple cyst we found growing down the opposite side. Since they did take out all of my thyroid I don't have to go back in and have them take anymore. Thank goodness I had the procedure done!
Over the next couple of weeks they will let whatever thyroid that is running in my body run out of my system. I will start loosing my energy and I will have to be on a low iodine diet! No iodized salt, no dairy products, no food with Red Dye 40, and so forth. When my TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone reaches a certain level they will put me on a Radioactive pill for 24-48 hours, and I will have to be completely secluded from everyone. Then I will receive a Full Body scan that will inch down my body to see where the cancer is, and how big of a dose of radiation to give me.
So here we are, we are taking this ONE day at a time. So yes today has been a rough day, I know that the Lord is watching over me and my family. I just hope we can make it through all this!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
4/28/2010
So I'm going to try to keep this updated like I would a journal. I am pretty much confined to my own home, I'm not supposed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk so that will be my major challenge with Ezra, and I won't be able to drive anywhere so that will be hard as well! (weds)
Son Monday Night (the 26Th) they told me to call the hospital at 11:30 a.m. and to be ready to go. Emma and Corbin were so excited because my sister in law Erin and finally made it up from Vegas and they just adore her little girl. So what a surprise it was for them to come home from running errands and find them playing in our back yard. Tuesday morning I called at 11:30 and they told me that I didn't need to be there until 2:30, so we just finished cleaning up the house and said goodbye to our children. (There is always that what if in the back of your mind when you go to have major surgery done...I hate that!) So we got there and checked in and they had me my own little waiting room for about a hour. I changed into a gown and put all my personal items into a bag. I started having a panic attack when they were wheeling me down the hall and they made us go our separate ways. My husband Phil is a absolutely amazing person, he gave me the most beautiful blessing the night before. I do not know how I got so luck to be with such a wonderful man who honors his priesthood so much. I am so blessed to be married to him, and he makes me want to be better everyday. They wheeled me into a holding room to wait for the anesthesiologist, and I ended up waiting for a hour. The holding room was a big huge white room that could probably fit 10 beds, there was curtains in between each one, and a computer desk in the corner. I was greeted by another patient an older man who asked me what I was in for, it was kind of funny. A few minutes later I hear someone walking down the hall singing a country tune. In walks Dr.Riddle with his scrubs on and cowboy boots. He is a pretty cool doctor! He tells me what to expect in the next little bit, and how I'm going to be put to sleep here soon, and I'll wake up in recovery and that the surgery should take about 45 minutes. He wishes me well and promises that he'll do a good job.
After they took him off to have his surgery I was left alone to ponder my thoughts. The most amazing thing happened in that holding room, something you wouldn't believe if you didn't have the faith to. I know my mother was there with me, it was the most amazing feeling. I can't even write too much about it because it was such a sacred moment that I had. But I've been waiting 20 years for that, and I guess Heavenly Father thought it was time.
The anesthesiologist came in at 4:30 and gave me something in my IV that made me start to shut down, they wheeled me into the OR and placed me onto the operating table. The room also was very clean, and white. There were for gentlemen in there with me 3 scrub techs, and Dr.Riddle. By then I'm really starting to drift into a heavy sleep and before I know it I'm on the verge of throwing up and it is 6:20 p.m. and I hear all these strange voices around me. I try to speak and nothing comes out, they ended up giving me 4 different medications to help with the naucsiousness. That's the last thing they want me to do is throw up right after having my neck cut into. They then wheeled me out into the hallway where I saw my dear sweetheart waiting for me. (You know I could probably describe that feeling as no other, and that feeling is probably that of like a loved one who had passed on before and is waiting for you when you go to meet your maker. I don't know if that is true, but I could only imagine that I got a little piece of Heaven when I saw Phil standing there.)
They took me up to the 6Th floor and put me into my own room. I was so out of it, my family came up to see how I was doing and I remember them being there, but I don't really remember even seeing their faces. I remember hearing my husband drill my sister about her boyfriend, but that's about it. My family left around 8 and Phil ended up staying until 10 then he went home to be with our children. The room was so teeny! I slept unbelievably good in the hospital, I can't believe how worn out I was. They woke me up every 2 hours to be poked with a needle but I was so out of it that I probably slept through a few of them. This morning I woke up to such a peaceful calm feeling. My blood pressure was pretty low at 74/43 and it was a little scary. I had to drink a lot of fluids today, plus they had a bunch being pushed in through a IV. My calcium levels are really low too so they are having me eat Tums like they are candy.
I had the nurse help me get into the shower my neck was all bandaged up and she pretty much saran wrapped my neck so it wouldn't get all wet. The shower felt so nice to get off the caked off blood and the surgical cleaning scrub that stains your skin yellow.
I was able to check out around 3 when my blood pressure went up to 95/60. Still not to great, so I'm pumping myself full of liquids. My aunt Laura is going to drive up from Delta to take me to my appointment in the morning where they will take a look at my incision. I am so nervous for that, but luckily it was only 2 to 3 inches long. I was picturing a cut across my who entire neck.
I am really swollen and I started to get a little nervous that I was going to suffocate to death, and I'm not kidding either. (this is Tuesday night the 27Th) I had Phil call around to have someone come over here and give me a blessing, and we were finally able to get a hold of my best friend's husband Tony, and he came over and gave me a beautiful blessing to help and I feel that pressure come of my neck immediately.
Weds the 28th
So tomorrow I will hopefully get my test back to know weather or not I have Cancer. My doctor said that my thyroid looked like it was in excellent shape so I shouldn't worry too much. I am thankful that this will be all over and done with soon. My voice is coming back, but it hurts really bad to talk. I want to heal as fast as possible so I can take care of my children and husband again. Everyone has been so helpful with me and my kids. I really appreciate it everyone for all they have done.
Son Monday Night (the 26Th) they told me to call the hospital at 11:30 a.m. and to be ready to go. Emma and Corbin were so excited because my sister in law Erin and finally made it up from Vegas and they just adore her little girl. So what a surprise it was for them to come home from running errands and find them playing in our back yard. Tuesday morning I called at 11:30 and they told me that I didn't need to be there until 2:30, so we just finished cleaning up the house and said goodbye to our children. (There is always that what if in the back of your mind when you go to have major surgery done...I hate that!) So we got there and checked in and they had me my own little waiting room for about a hour. I changed into a gown and put all my personal items into a bag. I started having a panic attack when they were wheeling me down the hall and they made us go our separate ways. My husband Phil is a absolutely amazing person, he gave me the most beautiful blessing the night before. I do not know how I got so luck to be with such a wonderful man who honors his priesthood so much. I am so blessed to be married to him, and he makes me want to be better everyday. They wheeled me into a holding room to wait for the anesthesiologist, and I ended up waiting for a hour. The holding room was a big huge white room that could probably fit 10 beds, there was curtains in between each one, and a computer desk in the corner. I was greeted by another patient an older man who asked me what I was in for, it was kind of funny. A few minutes later I hear someone walking down the hall singing a country tune. In walks Dr.Riddle with his scrubs on and cowboy boots. He is a pretty cool doctor! He tells me what to expect in the next little bit, and how I'm going to be put to sleep here soon, and I'll wake up in recovery and that the surgery should take about 45 minutes. He wishes me well and promises that he'll do a good job.
After they took him off to have his surgery I was left alone to ponder my thoughts. The most amazing thing happened in that holding room, something you wouldn't believe if you didn't have the faith to. I know my mother was there with me, it was the most amazing feeling. I can't even write too much about it because it was such a sacred moment that I had. But I've been waiting 20 years for that, and I guess Heavenly Father thought it was time.
The anesthesiologist came in at 4:30 and gave me something in my IV that made me start to shut down, they wheeled me into the OR and placed me onto the operating table. The room also was very clean, and white. There were for gentlemen in there with me 3 scrub techs, and Dr.Riddle. By then I'm really starting to drift into a heavy sleep and before I know it I'm on the verge of throwing up and it is 6:20 p.m. and I hear all these strange voices around me. I try to speak and nothing comes out, they ended up giving me 4 different medications to help with the naucsiousness. That's the last thing they want me to do is throw up right after having my neck cut into. They then wheeled me out into the hallway where I saw my dear sweetheart waiting for me. (You know I could probably describe that feeling as no other, and that feeling is probably that of like a loved one who had passed on before and is waiting for you when you go to meet your maker. I don't know if that is true, but I could only imagine that I got a little piece of Heaven when I saw Phil standing there.)
They took me up to the 6Th floor and put me into my own room. I was so out of it, my family came up to see how I was doing and I remember them being there, but I don't really remember even seeing their faces. I remember hearing my husband drill my sister about her boyfriend, but that's about it. My family left around 8 and Phil ended up staying until 10 then he went home to be with our children. The room was so teeny! I slept unbelievably good in the hospital, I can't believe how worn out I was. They woke me up every 2 hours to be poked with a needle but I was so out of it that I probably slept through a few of them. This morning I woke up to such a peaceful calm feeling. My blood pressure was pretty low at 74/43 and it was a little scary. I had to drink a lot of fluids today, plus they had a bunch being pushed in through a IV. My calcium levels are really low too so they are having me eat Tums like they are candy.
I had the nurse help me get into the shower my neck was all bandaged up and she pretty much saran wrapped my neck so it wouldn't get all wet. The shower felt so nice to get off the caked off blood and the surgical cleaning scrub that stains your skin yellow.
I was able to check out around 3 when my blood pressure went up to 95/60. Still not to great, so I'm pumping myself full of liquids. My aunt Laura is going to drive up from Delta to take me to my appointment in the morning where they will take a look at my incision. I am so nervous for that, but luckily it was only 2 to 3 inches long. I was picturing a cut across my who entire neck.
I am really swollen and I started to get a little nervous that I was going to suffocate to death, and I'm not kidding either. (this is Tuesday night the 27Th) I had Phil call around to have someone come over here and give me a blessing, and we were finally able to get a hold of my best friend's husband Tony, and he came over and gave me a beautiful blessing to help and I feel that pressure come of my neck immediately.
Weds the 28th
So tomorrow I will hopefully get my test back to know weather or not I have Cancer. My doctor said that my thyroid looked like it was in excellent shape so I shouldn't worry too much. I am thankful that this will be all over and done with soon. My voice is coming back, but it hurts really bad to talk. I want to heal as fast as possible so I can take care of my children and husband again. Everyone has been so helpful with me and my kids. I really appreciate it everyone for all they have done.
Friday, May 20, 2011
4/14/2010
On March 17, 2010 I had my annual doctor's appointment, and I told her a few of the symptoms that I had been experiencing as of late. She was doing her routine exam and gasped when she felt the large lump in my throat that I was telling her about. She decided it would be in my best interest to get an ultrasound and have some blood work done. so the very next day I headed back up to Utah Valley Hospital and had several viles of blood drawn. Then on Monday my husband came with me to have a ultrasound done on my throat. The ultrasound showed that I had numerous cyst's growing on the right side of my throat, and that the one on my left was a cyst that was too big for comfort. So then I was referred over to a Otolarynologist (Ear Nose and Throat) Specialist to have my throat looked at. They got me right in and I didn't want my husband to miss any work so I went by myself. They did another ultrasound on my throat and the doctor was stunned by how large the cyst on the left side was. He told me that I had two choices, to either have it biopsied or have my thyroid partially or completely removed. I thought it was a little ridiculous to have my thyroid removed so I told him I would take the biopsy. Thinking I would have to schedule yet another appointment, but nope instead Dr.Riddle pulled out a extremely large needle. My eyes must of gotten really big, and he just reassured me that it would be over before I knew it. He drew the needle into the cyst 3 times and pulled out 10 cc's of fluid and then they sent it off to the lab to check for cancer cells. I waited four days to get a phone call saying the test came back inconclusive and they did not have enough evidence to call in cancer. And to top it off the lump in my neck had already filled back up with fluid! So we (me and my husband) decided to have a fast. We spent the weekend in a lot of prayer trying to decide what would be the best decision for us. On Monday we went back into the office not sure what to expect. Dr.Riddle wasn't too pleased about the lab results that they had gotten back, and that the lump had already returned (he thought it would take at LEAST 4-6 weeks to fill back up). So now we still have the two choices to be biopsied every other week till it goes away, or have my thyroid removed. We sat down and both knew that the right choice for me was to have my thyroid removed COMPLETELY not partially. I will have a 3-4 inch scar across my neck and have to take a pill everyday for the rest of my life. During the surgery they will take part of the thyroid down to the lab to see if it has cancer in it. They scheduled my appointment for two weeks, and they it could be up to 6 weeks until I will get back on my feet. I've had super really weird dreams the past few nights and I just hope that we can get through this as a family. I pray that my children will never have to go through what I did growing up. I know that the Lord knows what is best for me and I am so grateful for his guidance. Phil gave me a beautiful priesthood bless when we found out all about this and I now know that I just need to trust in the Lord. I have such great friends and family who have been so willing to help me out with my children and meals. I feel so blessed right now for that!
A new hope....
I'm starting this blog for myself....to reflect back on the experiences that I have had with Cancer, and to hopefully help me deal with it (if I have to) in the future. I have found a great tool to help me get through this and that is threw my mother's journals. So anyone is welcome to join me and my family on this little test that we have to go threw in this life! But like I said before this is for me, for me to vent, for me to write down my thoughts. I'm not very good at hand writing a journal, it is so much easier to tap away at the keyboard for that. I'm hopeful this will help me in the years to come, as well as anyone else who may have to go through what I have had to.
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