My nerves last night about got the best of me! I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep for the life of me! I tossed and turned worried about what if this? What if that? This morning we headed into the cancer clinic around 830...I filled out a pile of paperwork...changed into some clothes and took everything off that had any sort of metal in it. They started a IV drew some blood, gave me a pep talk and sent me on my way.
I walked down a dark hallway and into this cold room with a very large machine, and honestly thought, "will I really fit in there!" They strapped me in and told me to lay still for 45 minutes. Oh and don't forget some earplugs its really noisy in there. Bet you can't guess what I was doing? If you guessed MRI you are right! The nurse told me to have a nice nap (like that was going to happen) They sucked me into the large tube and off I went...I tried so hard not to move, cause there was no way they were going to start over. My ears are still ringing from all the buzzing, and odd sounds that machine makes.
They brought me out and gave me some more meds in my IV that put a pigment dye through my blood so anything would stand out in the pictures they were taking...weird cold sensation. He said only 5 more minutes but I'm telling up I counted to 60 12 times....that was a really long 5 minutes.
Whew I survived and they say well have a nice day. What no results, you've gotta be kidding me...I have to wait a whole stinkin week....
My husband graciously treated me to a Cafe Rio Salad, it was oh so tasty.
We got home, and he left for work, and I visited with my sister for awhile. We decided to go for a ride when the girls got off the bus. We loaded the kids in the van and I started backing up...my phone rang, anonymous number. I answered and the lady from Dr.Maturlo's office started talking to me about my test. My heart was pounding so fast, and my eyes started to swell up with tears...I didn't understand any of her mumbo jumbo doctor talk....after she got done, I asked her..."so do I still have Cancer or not?" and her reply was, "oh no you don't" it felt like a thousand bricks came falling off my body...I couldn't believe it...I think I was in shock the whole drive down the road...I dialed my husband who was so excited! I still have an appointment next Monday to get my meds adjusted, and each May for the rest of my life I guess I go back and do a full body PT scan and make sure the cancer doesn't come back.
Honestly I am so relieved, I feel so blessed right now. Heavenly Father has defiantly got my back. I have felt so much despair and loneliness the past 2 months. After many many talks with my husband and close friends I now feel oh so much better. I thought if I felt the worst about this I wouldn't be let down. Now I'm ashamed that I had such a bad attitude about it the last little while. i am so very grateful for all the prayers I have felt, for all the fasting, for everything everyone has done for me. I feel so very loved, and I hope to pay it forward someday. I am so very grateful for all of you who have stuck this out with me and my little family. Thank you so much.
Now I am really going to start taking better care of myself, so I can be around for a long long time!
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